Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

Best. Product. Ever. Period.

March 21, 2009

John McSame

September 29, 2008

This ain’t Ratatouille!

February 24, 2008

 Diarrhea cha cha cha

Now, I don’t know much about the Fox show ‘Kitchen Nightmares’, only what I have seen from ads. Apparently, the host goes to disgusting run down restaurants, yells at them, and turns them around. The website for this show at the time of this writing, has video of the host finding mold and gunk in a restaurant and God knows what else! In my experience, a bad letter or newspaper article about unsanitary restaurants, almost always leads to closure, or change of management. I have seen it happen to several establishments around here, including a Chinese place my wife adored! Yuck!

So, it seems this Kitchen Nightmares show may be “showcasing” (is that the word I should use?) an eatery in a neighboring town to me, and the Mayor seems to optimistically think this will drive business TO his town! Wait, what?!?! South Bend Mayor Steve Luecke says, “The great thing is obviously there will be more hotel usage but I think you know the spinoff is national exposure, people hearing about South Bend, positive things going on here. Now I like Mayor Luecke, however, I can think of THOUSANDS of “positive things” to say about South Bend besides, “One of our restaurants is SO infested a T.V. crew is going to film it for a gross out show! Come witness the freak show, stay for the dysentery!” Must politicians comment on EVERYTHING?

Does it Float?

February 12, 2008


This is VERY good! They totally nailed the taste of a root beer float! Smooth, decadent, creamy, PERFECTION! What are you waiting for?!?! Go drink this now! Nothing short of Diabetes should keep you from tasting this! Quite frankly, I think it would be worth one measly diabetic coma if you are.*

*Carnell, A&W ® ,, or the American Diabetes Association do not condone, endorse, or suggest the actual ingestion of this product if you are in fact, diabetic. Check with your Physician if you suspect that you are. Check your blood sugar, check it often, with or with out the help of actor Wilfred Brimley. Diabetes is a serious disease and the preceding was a joke. If you were offended, or did not in fact find this post funny, please find a brown paper bag and breathe into it repeating “I need to fucking learn to take a joke” seven to eight times. If you actually take advice, and act upon the ramblings of some random asshole’s blog, please do the following. Find all United States currency in your residence in denominations of ten dollars or more, and mail it immediately to the writer of this blog. Some restrictions may apply. A&W® Bottled Floats may not be available in your area.

High Def Phenomenon

September 3, 2007

I have always marveled at things some people watch on television. I had also heard that hi-def will make you watch some strange things, mainly for the simple fact, it’s in hi-def! Now, I have experienced this first hand. I will watch ANYTHING in high definition! It is true! Boring shows about sunrises across the planet, losers fixing motorcycles and arguing like three year olds, shows that simply show still images, and photos set to crummy elevator music. I have sat through all of this, simply mesmerized by detail and clarity. That said, I have reached a new low yesterday. I sat through, in my opinion, one of the most expensive crapathons ever produced…..


God, I am so ashamed. What makes matters worst is, it wasn’t even the best looking movie I have seen in Hi-def, but I sat there, eyes scanning over the 16:9 image, marveling at the clarity, enjoying FINALLY having picture quality that matches my sound. I wonder how long before the novelty of it all wears off and I get my TASTE back?

New Member of my Family.

August 7, 2007

Please help me welcome the newest member to my family. HDTVMy new HDTV!!!! I took forever to finally jump in, but here I am! May we have many years of fun, laughter, and films together. <Sniff> excuse me, I have something in my eye.

Entry for June 07, 2007

June 7, 2007

Thirty Four years old today. Sheesh.

Entry for June 02, 2007

June 2, 2007

Over heard at a pizza chain last week.

Kid- “Mom can we get one of those big salads?”

Mom- “NO! We all ready gettin’ pizza!”

Oh the times they are a-changin’.

Entry for May 26, 2007

May 26, 2007


Entry for March 25, 2007

March 25, 2007